Tag Archives: royal navy

Brass Buttons and Gorging on Game

The plasterer has just arrived, bacon on the George Forman and I have my window wide open despite the freezing conditions. Apparently (according to mens health magazine) if you freeze your bollocks off; you burn brown fats, which coincidently allows me to burn off this George the forth look I’ve taken on, in essence; I’ve put on a bit of weight. This was brought to my attention last night as I was routing through the attic, I came across my pere’s old royal navy uniform “excellent” I thought, a gold buttoned military blazer, I can wear that on nights out. Fighting off the damp which continued to drain off the inner roof and on to me, not to mention the ordeal of squeezing my frame between wooden beams and a hatch, I got it down and tried it on. It was splendid; the arms fitted delightfully and my shoulders slotted in, the one problem being I couldn’t close the double breasted gold buttons. No problem really for it shall be worn open all coldplay-esque, i shall take on the rugged look of a soldier back from the Napoleonic battles of Russia (with my newly acquiring cavalier beard that is, and rather long locks) but needless to say the problem of appearing to have spent the winter at louis’ versaille, gorging on game left me wanting to exercise somewhat, a delight it was to find the family had decided to potter the lakes this morning, that is except me for I have to mind the plasterer which hacked me off somewhat scuppering my plan to be healthy and out doors like.
I woke up about an hour past, I have had two whole hours snooze and it’s a Saturday. Despite my only having a two hours of snooze I feel like I could take on the Spartans with one hand and four fingers, so today I shall focus this energy into noble conquests, i’ll read, write, ponder and browse for a flat and drink more tea than Beatrix Potter could ever dream off.

tadaa

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