A Massive Void Filled With Excuses

This is my parrot which doesn't exist

Today was a bank holiday; so I used it as an excuse to be hungover…apparently it was a nice sunny day so I avoided the windows. I was happy convincing myself it was raining as an excuse to sit on the sofa with a dodgy brain and watch QI for 8 hours straight, I ate last nights pizza and resigned myself to being a crappy pleb. Naturally I didn’t watch Jeremy Kyle, that would be absurd, I also didn’t feed the parrot because it doesn’t exist. So here I am at 3:04 a.m. contemplating an all-nighter just for the challenge. I have a mountain of work, which if not done will mean I’ll have fewer publications but sod all else. It won’t affect the bills much and it’ll mean my brain goes to mash due to the lack of stimulation and I’ll have a breakdown. Well it would if I didn’t have this to do which is really easy and good mental equivalent of doing 10 press ups to get the blood pumping.
Did you know beer in large quantities and a bit of rum sponged by copious amounts of take away food is bad for you…me neither, but apparently it is, I think I’ll give up eating like a football fan on FA cup final day; everyday. Yes I’ll give it up and buy myself a cookbook with some fresh vegetables, might even walk down the beach a bit more but I’m not joining a gym, ghastly places full of healthy people who eat free range egg shells for supper.
I really like Muse, the rock band that is…I haven’t set itunes to muse and shuffle for a while but it’s coaxing my brain into a state of wanting books…old classics, perhaps gothic. But I’ll do that later. I must focus on writing but my desk looks like a mini Helmand province. I really can’t think properly surrounded by mess, I want to employ a cleaner but find that if I do, I’ll become a tit, and tits aren’t attractive…hmm bad metaphor but you get my drift, time to get my finger out and clean up…. Tomorrow.

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